


atlas hands

by seaspect



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Ballboy arc gang, Boats and Ships, Gen, M/M, Sailor AU, Shippy-ish; mostly character focused
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:20:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26007145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seaspect/pseuds/seaspect
Summary: Kei grimaces. Tendou’s carpentry skills would be far more suited for this, but he’s currently occupied in the hold, where damage is worst. And so he’s working alongside Hinata, both of them stuck with a job neither are particularly suited to. And with each other.Abandoning ship isn’t an option, so it either floats or they all sink together.Thirty-one days into the voyage ofThe White Eagle, their ship meets an accident.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Tsukishima Kei, Hinata Shouyou/Tsukishima Kei
Comments: 4
Kudos: 27





	atlas hands

Kei doesn’t need the sight of the sea to feel it closing in around him. 

The distant shouts and thudding footsteps of crew members above deck can barely be heard against the crash of waves. Seawater erupts from fractures in the wood, surging to the ground with a relentless pattering. Every so often, the ground beneath his feet will lurch, the ship creaking in pain as the ocean strikes its sides.

The water in the lower deck already reaches past Kei's ankles. It soaks into his shoes and sloshes around his feet as he moves, a constant reminder of the force dragging them down. 

“More to the left,” he snaps. Hinata moves the tarp. With his other hand securing the peg against the wall, Kei puts as much force as he can into the swing of the mallet, inching the piece of chiseled wood deeper into the crack with each repetition. The trickle is slowed to a minimum as the hole seals shut. _One of the better jobs_ he thinks, breathing heavily.

Hinata is already drifting to the next spot that needs mending. Kei quickly assesses the size of the hole, takes the piece of wood Hinata hands him, and uses the knife he keeps in his belt to whittle it down to the right size. It almost slips out of his clammy hands as Hinata prepares the next piece of canvas.

Kei grimaces. Tendou’s carpentry skills would be far more suited for this, but he’s currently occupied in the hold, where damage is worst. And so he’s working alongside Hinata, both of them stuck with a job neither are particularly suited to. And with each other. 

“Ready?” he asks Hinata flatly. 

“Ready!”

Hinata crouches down to hold the piece of canvas in place, one hand pressed at each end, as Kei pounds the peg in snugly. The water slows to a trickle. 

Kei’s lost count already of how many holes they’ve had to patch up already. It wasn’t just a single puncture, like the depression caused from a cannonball; it was as though someone had dragged the ship across a rough piece of rock, scraping little wounds all over the sides of its wooden armor. To make it worse, the misalignment of the shaken-up boards continued to spring new leaks all over the place. 

The scrape did them real bad. An unlucky wind, an unexpected outcropping, and a stormy patch of sea to top it all off. 

Kei tries to drown out the sound of the waves, tries to ignore the water now lapping at his legs, but he can’t. If he could just keep working away carelessly, he _might_ , but he _can’t_. The knowledge of the inevitable instills a chill he just can’t shake. 

It isn’t even the panic in his crewmates' eyes that bothers him; he’s had plenty of experience tuning others out. It’s the fact that he can see the ship’s waterline rising with his own eyes, the space getting smaller and smaller with each passing moment; that he knows a ship that’s been damaged to this extent has no chance of survival; that all the hope in the world couldn’t empty out the seawater already choking the lower hold. 

Abandoning ship isn’t an option, so it either floats or they all sink together. To deny the reality he’s already accepted would be to deny Tsukishima Kei, so he thinks. 

He’s snapped back to the present by Hinata, who’s already moving to the other side. The sinking feeling in Kei’s gut weighs him down even as he goes through the motions. Hinata seems to share no such sentiment, the light in his eyes shining inexhaustibly as ever as he motions for Kei to hurry along. Needless to say, it pisses Kei off. 

“I’m ready whenever you are,” Hinata’s voice echoes, with an earnestness that hardly betrays the fact that they’re fighting for their lives.

Kei applies a bit more force than he intended, causing a medium-sized chunk of wood to go flying off his carving. “Could you not be like that?”

“What are you going about _this_ time?” Hinata says, eyebrow raised in confusion. 

“Being all— what— Hinata- _y_. Even someone with a brain as small as yours must have noticed by now,” and Kei feels like it’s necessary to pull out the obvious, “That we are probably going to _die_ here. And yet you’re still acting like—what— this is just another day on the ship. That we’re just working together on any old task.” He finishes hammering in the plug. Kei is well aware that he’s being even more irritable than usual.

“Hah?!” Hinata’s trying to hold himself steady against the rocking of the ship. “But that’s basically what we’re doing!” 

“No, it’s not, and I think you’re acting really foolish. This isn’t some sort of game, this isn’t _normal—_ "

“Ok, so _maybe_ you think we’re all going to die—” An especially ill-timed wave tosses the ship, sending Hinata slamming into Kei. “Sorry,” he mutters.

“Yeah, I just confirmed that for you. Do you not see this?” Kei gestures at the flood. “And this here isn’t even, what, a third of the total damage. The bilge pump’s going to break any moment now, the navigator looked like he was on the verge of a breakdown, we—”

“And what do you want to do?” Hinata responds obstinately. “Nothing?”

Kei throws his hands in the air. “I don’t know! But _you—_ ” He stops momentarily and pinches the bridge of his nose, lifting his glasses with his fingers. God, he was getting distracted. “Actually, ignore everything that I just said. It doesn’t matter.” Nothing he said was going to get through, regardless.

Hinata also stops what he’s doing. He looks at Kei, his gaze piercing right into his golden eyes. “What reason do you have to not want to fight and live? To not want to die?”

Kei just scoffs.

“I don’t care if you don’t answer that, but I’m not gonna let you give up. It’s not like I can do this myself.” Hinata drags him to the next point of leakage. “We’re going to do what we can, what we should, and get what we’re supposed to get done.” He gives Kei one last look as he says this and his expression, still firm, makes Kei feel like faltering a bit. 

That’s right. The kinds of reasonable conclusions he keeps anchored in his mind aren’t even within Hinata’s consideration. He’s not the type to _say_ “Push until it’s over”; he’s the type to _breathe_ it, because he hasn’t even envisioned an end to begin with. The foolhardy idiocy to focus only on the challenge before him _is_ Hinata _._ Kei shakes his head, scowling. Looks like he’ll have to do the thinking for the both of them. Not that he hasn’t already been.

“Want to switch?” Hinata suggests. “You’re slowing down. I can do the hammering, if you want.”

“Oh, hell no. I’m way better at this then you are. If you really want to live so badly, I suggest leaving this to me.” 

— 

The water has crept to Kei’s knees now, weighing down his legs with every step he takes. For Hinata, it’s at his thighs. 

The flooding has gone from a bleak reminder to a maddening obstacle. The water wrenches away their mobility, forcing them to wade through drifting furniture and jumbled objects. Kei almost loses his footing several times.

Not only that, but the cabin _feels_ smaller. Like it’s shrunk in size. Empty space and firm ground disappears beneath a rippling sheet of seawater that sways in tandem with the ship. The air is thick with ocean salt, filling Kei’s lungs with each breath.

While Hinata had dashed around just fine when the flooding was minimal, his visible distress is becoming increasingly clear. The bounce in his step once compensating for his height gives way to sluggish and ungraceful splashing. Kei notices the way Hinata recoils when spray leaps into the air, or when the rocking threatens to send him crashing into the water. The flood seeps into everything, slowing caging them in.

And still they continue. Hinata crouches beside him with his arms outstretched. His cheeks are flushed red despite the chill, strands of damp orange hair clinging to his forehead. He licks his lips.

That’s right, Kei remembers. Hinata’s always been afraid of water. 

— 

A week into the voyage, after Hinata’d gone from “annoying cabin partner who wouldn’t stop throwing up every hour and bothering him all the time” to “occasionally tolerable nuisance”— thanks to hours of exposure therapy— 

The two were stuck on watch duty together.

Kei plopped himself down on the other side of the prow, hoping Hinata would get the message. He either did not, or ignored it, because he wandered over anyway, his orange head bobbing along. 

“No.” Kei said.

“Wha—? I haven’t even said anything yet,” Hinata protested. 

“I know. You’re going to start talking about something stupid, so I’m stopping you here.” 

“We’re stuck up here for hours! It’s boring to just sit and do nothing.” Hinata was evidently ignoring him again, because he went on anyway. Kei watched him slide into his series of routine stretches. Hinata had his legs spread apart, torso bent with his hands touching the ground, as he rambled on about life at sea.

“... and I’m starting to feel like I’ve been stuck on this ship forever, but I’m still not that used to it. Weird, huh? I mean, I stopped getting so sick _all_ the time, though I do feel like throwing up sometimes when the boat shakes too much— I’m glad that’s mostly over, at least! Being in the water at all is always kinda rough. I prefer dry land,” he said, switching his position to press his leg up against the railing. “Having something solid beneath my feet, y’know?”

“Then why did you sneak onto a _boat_?” Kei scoffed.

“Because— it’s got a long hiring period, so I can’t get fired if I mess up, and there were open spots!” he replied. Very honestly.

“Open spots,” Kei repeated. Hinata didn’t sign on until after _The White Eagle_ had already set sail, having hid below deck as a stowaway until it was too late for the ship to return him to shore. Kei was honestly surprised that the captain didn’t just throw Hinata off the ship then and there. He relented after Hinata had begged to stay on board, making all sorts of cases about how he really needed the money and that _The White Eagle_ was low on members anyways (it was). “Then why didn’t you just board the ship like a normal person?”

“Everyone says that Captain Washijo’s picky about sailors and only wants the tall, buff guys on deck,” Hinata grumbled.

Kei almost laughs. That was Washijo for you. “I mean, you are pretty shrimpy. I can see him trying to turn you down.”

“Hey, I can still work just as well as you guys! I bet I could even beat you in arm wrestling.”

“Um, no, we’re not doing that. Ever.”

Hinata switched positions again, now pushing his left leg against the railing. 

“Wait, _that’s_ why you’re always doing your stretches?” Kei said, smirking. “To get all muscular so you can work harder?”

“I actually do exercises to make sure my body stays strong for when I get back on shore. Especially my legs.”

Kei raised his eyebrows. “For?” 

“Horseback riding,” Hinata said excitedly, his eyes sparkling a bit brighter than usual. _Oh god,_ Kei thought, a bit too late, _I’ve let Hinata loop me into a conversation_ . “It’s the greatest. Like— the ‘whoa’ moment when you first swing onto their back. When you start galloping, and the wind’s whipping past your face, you’re up in the air, and the horse is all going _woosh—_ ” He made fast sweeping motions with his arm. “The ground moves so fast under you, and at that moment, you feel _free._ Like you’re flying. Yeah— flying! Riding really gives me wings.” His eyes were completely sparkling now.

Kei stared. “Only you’d say something so cheesy with a totally straight face.” 

“You’ve tried riding a horse before, right?” Hinata asked.

Kei crinkled his nose. Another thing he and Hinata wouldn’t ever agree on. “I’m fine not entrusting my life to a giant four-legged animal that could stomp me to death at any moment.” 

“If you treat your horse right that shouldn’t be a problem!”

A cool sea breeze washed over them, carrying the lingering scent of sea salt along with it. Kei felt his clothes sticking to him.

“When I’m on my horse, I know what to expect. It’s part of why riding feels so free. We’ve got a mutual responsibility to each other, and it’s up to me to uphold my part.” 

Hinata was on the ground now, back pressed against the wooden deck, head facing the big expanse of sky as he raised both legs in the air. He paused to swing his other leg around before continuing. “But the sea makes me feel anxious ‘cause I have no control. It’s totally different! It’s like you never know how it’s going to behave next. The waves don’t stop coming, even after they’ve pulled you away. I can’t imagine ever being in the water myself. Even sitting aboard this ship already makes me feel so small.”

“I can swim, actually,” Kei said, adjusting his glasses. 

“Ooh,” Hinata said, looking at him enviously. “Oh, that must be so great. Not feeling like you’re dropping to the bottom of the ocean every time you touch water.” 

“It’s not that impressive. I learned from my older brother. He’d take me to shore all the time, since he worked as a fisherman. You get the hang of being in the ocean at some point—it’s all about figuring out the rhythm of the waves. Once you stop fighting the current, you’re able to steer it into carrying you forward. The water’s really not as unpredictable as you think. You’re just new to it, so it _feels_ like it makes no sense. Understanding the language of the sea is how sailors navigate, you know. Listening, watching, feeling, and using that to figure out what to do next is all necessary to survive out here.”

Hinata was just watching him. It made Kei’s stomach flutter a bit.

“Not that swimming’s any use out here, though. If you fall off a ship like this into that big, blue, ocean, you're as good as dead.”

Hinata shook his head. “That’s still super cool, though! I don’t think I’ll ever be able to know the ocean like that. Or feel comfortable off land.” His face scrunched up. 

“I know, Hinata. We’re in the same cabin. It’s not hard to notice. Also, you’ll probably never get to ‘know the ocean’ because your brain can’t handle thinking about more than two things at once without exploding.”

“Hey!” Hinata yelped. “That’s not true. Right now I’m doing leg workouts, talking to you, _and_ thinking about how I’m starting to feel sick from the rocking, all at the same time.” Kei didn’t feel like responding to that.

“Waugh, I can’t wait to get back. I’ve got so much to do once I get enough money to keep the farm going without me for the next racing season. A lot of training if I wanna beat Kageyama— agh, that jerk—! I’m totally gonna win against him the next time we race!” Kei had no idea who Kageyama was and didn’t particularly care, but from the way Hinata talked about him, he seemed to be some sort of sworn rival. And also on his mind a lot. He’s pretty sure he’s heard Hinata muttering about his stupid face in his sleep.

“And what about you, Tsukki? Anything you want to do when we get back?” Hinata asked, sitting up.

Kei winced. “Ugh, don’t call me that. And… no? Nothing especially. Probably kick it around town, go see a friend, then head out on another voyage, I guess.” 

“Wow, you love sailing that much?”

“What are you, an idiot? Sailing’s a crap-ass job. I’m just here cause I’ve got nowhere else to be, and this gives room and board and enough pay to get through another day.”

“But your brother was a fisherman, wasn’t he? Why not do that with him instead?”

“I haven’t seen my brother in years,” Kei responded curtly. “I quit fishing, anyway.” 

Hinata got the memo this time, because he didn't go any further. He returned back to the ground, keeping his body suspended in the air with only his feet and elbows touching the floor.

They spent a moment in silence, with only the gentle sound of waves and warm afternoon sunlight to accompany them.

Hinata shattered it. “Hey Tsukki, have you ever heard of the Big Top Verona Derby?” 

“Really, stop calling me that, like we’re friends or something,” Kei groaned. Something about it reminded Kei of home.

— 

Kei steps back to assess the damage. The flow of water hasn’t entirely stopped, but the largest holes have been patched; they only have an army of irksome minor cracks left to face. He thinks he should soon be able to manage without Hinata’s help here. 

The ship suddenly lurches forward. Kei manages to cling onto a nearby pillar for support, but Hinata isn’t so lucky— he’s thrown sideways, his entire body plunging into the cloudy water with a splash. Kei doesn’t even finish his thought about whether he should go and help before Hinata springs back up, spluttering, his hair and clothes entirely soaked. 

“Augh! Cold!” He shivers, shaking the water out from his hair like a wet dog.

“Careful, idiot,” Kei snaps.

There’s a creaking noise from above, then the hasty squeaking of feet against the old worn ladder. Kei and Hinata look up to see a familiar bowl cut. With his hands still gripping the rails, Goshiki delivers his message loud and clear: “The storm is getting worse. Captain needs more hands on deck. Any sailor who can be spared must report to deck immediately!” Kei almost envisions a little salute before Goshiki ascends back up the hatch. 

_‘Any sailor who can be spared’?_ As if there was some shortage of jobs to go around in this emergency. If anything, being understaffed to begin with has finally come to bite them in the ass.

But he supposes Hinata, who’s been trudging around in the water like a sad, wet cat, isn’t exactly the most essential player down here. In fact, he’d probably fare better above deck, even with a full view of the stormy sea. At least he wouldn't be neck-deep in water.

“Ay, Hinata. Go up. I can do the rest.”

“But who’s going to hold down the canvas for you?”

“The rest of the holes are small enough for a single cork to do the job. I don’t need you here in order to handle them. Hurry up and stop wasting time, you heard him.” 

“If you say so,” Hinata says, pursing his lips. He steps out of the water and onto the rungs of the ladder, clothes still dripping. 

“Good luck!” He disappears up the hatch behind Goshiki.

— 

The water is high at Kei’s waist when he finally hears the boatswain’s shrill call for all hands on deck. Even from below, he could tell from the boat’s increasingly chaotic movements that the situation was only getting more dire. It was just a matter of time.

He examines the patched-up wall one last time before he climbs up. It’s workable, he decides. Not that he has any other options; he’s done what he can here.

When he emerges above deck, the first thing he notices is the wind. It whips against his body violently and roars in his ears, threatening to topple him over with each forceful gust. The gray skies are empty of rain, but the deck is constantly being soaked by the barrage of waves dashing themselves against the ship. 

Kei pockets his glasses safely into his trousers. The storm, the wind, the water— all of it fills him with a sinking apprehension. He takes in a deep breath.

Upon seeing Kei, the captain orders him to batten down the hatches with the other recruits. He passes by his crewmates furling the sails to join Kindaichi, Kunimi, and Hinata— _Hinata,_ _again_ — in securing canvas tarpaulin across the starboard hatch. Kunimi fastens the sail on one side, smoothing it out to ensure the covering is fully watertight, while Kindaichi efficiently nails down the ends that Hinata holds down. Kei picks up a hammer and kneels across from Kindaichi.

“One, two!” They shout to make their voices heard against wind and water.

“Again!”

The ship tosses furiously. It feels like the sea could swallow them any moment now, yet it stays afloat. _The White Eagle_ tears on, refusing to be dragged down by the weight of the water in its belly.

Kei is unsure of what miracle they’re hoping for that keeps them so eager to carry on. A surprise arrival upon an uncharted island? Another ship just happening to pass by in this storm? _So desperate,_ he thinks, as he sees the resolution in their expressions.

The group switches to the hatch on the port side, Hinata gets up to retrieve more battens, and, in that moment, disaster strikes.

Kei is watching Hinata. 

He’s always watching Hinata. 

How could he not? Hinata draws others in through his sheer presence, the way sunflowers watch the sun as it revolves across the sky. He’s small, inexperienced, and simpleminded, yet his spirit is becoming of a giant. He conceals nothing, buries nothing. He tries everything like he means it, without even thinking. And when he encounters the inevitable pain of life, all he does is take another step forward.

Riding. Sailing. Confronting the water. And even now, in his endeavor to conquer nature. He lives his life chasing the desire to fly.

_“What reason do you have to not want to fight and live? To not want to die?”_

_That’s a good question_ , Kei thinks. 

And so he sees the exact moment a wave swells over the deck, collides with Hinata, and sweeps him over the edge. 

The scene moves in slow motion, the same way a dropped glass passes slowly through the air before shattering magnificently against the ground. Only this time, the stakes are magnified by a thousand. 

Too abrupt. Too slow. He curses his human reflexes.

The last thing he registers is Hinata letting out a cry as he swings his arms in the air and loses his grip on the slippery deck, wet from ocean spray. And when time returns, Hinata is gone. 

Kei springs up and rushes to the side of the ship, heart leaping into his throat as he forces himself to bellow out, _“Man overboard! Man overboard! Hinata has fallen!”_ His voice is unaccustomed to the volume. It cracks on the last word. 

He hunts for a glimpse, anything. He scans the dark water for that bright hair, the annoying orange that’d peek into his periphery any time he tried to get some peace and quiet. 

Kei quickly makes out Hinata’s head bobbing in the waves, the thrashing of an unskilled swimmer rising and disappearing with the dark water’s turbulent rhythm. 

A thousand thoughts run through his mind as his body moves without his permission, fingers deftly tying a piece of rope around his waist. Old conversations and memories weave in and out of his mind.

“ _We can’t afford to lose anyone else.”_

_“How lame.”_

_“It feels like I’m flying. Like I’ve got wings! ”_

_“What bigger reason do you need than pride?”_

_“Do you have anything you want to do when we get back?”_

_“Kei, please talk to me.”_

_“I lied.”_

_“I’m sorry.”_

_…What am I even doing?_

This day might be his last, but if anything, Kei realizes that he doesn’t want it to be Hinata’s. 

He hands the thick coil of rope to Kindaichi, Kunimi, and Koganegawa, who had come running over at the sound of his call. “Whatever you do, don’t let go. Pull me up as soon as I have him,” he instructs them.

And before anyone can object, he leaps.

He plummets through the air like a bird struck from the sky, blood quickly turning to ice. Gravity pulls him down as if the ocean itself were sucking him into its embrace. 

Kei hits the sea with a shuddering splash, the shock of the cold water washing over his body. He gasps for air right as a wave crashes over his head, sending him underwater and stifling his cry. _No, no,_ no _. I have to stay composed. I have to reset_. 

He takes a deep breath and dives toward Hinata, barely visible above the waves. The current tosses him back and forth as he beats along the tide, trying to avoid the wreckage and cargo thrown overboard. 

Kei reaches forward. He makes contact. 

He clenches his hand around Hinata’s sleeve, yanking his arm toward him with all his might until he pulls Hinata into his body. He slides his arms under Hinata’s and ties another loop around their shoulders, locking them both together. Hinata has stopped moving, but for once, Kei doesn’t pause to think about the possible outcomes. 

Remaining afloat with a body in his arms is far more difficult than he expected. Keeping his head above the unpredictable waves requires precise timing and a sharpened sense of anticipation. The additional danger in the debris also keeps Kei wary—the crashing waves launch pieces of fallen cargo through the water, clogging the surface and creating easy collision targets without being sturdy enough to serve as handholds. 

Kei suppresses his panic and focuses only on employing his energy efficiently, only on _not letting go_ , as he kicks his long legs. He hopes his crewmates have caught the signal. They hold his life in his hands— his life, and Hinata’s. Kei briefly checks to see that the rope hasn’t gone undone, feeling another flutter of relief.

Their tussle with the sea finally ends when a particularly large wave surges over the two. A broken barrel sweeps into contact with Kei, a dislodged piece of wood knocking into his head, and he goes under.

The two sailors slip into the sea.

  
  


—

When Kei wakes up, the initial muddle of regaining consciousness gives way to a feeling of disoriented surprise. 

His eyes remain closed, but his surroundings slowly come to him—the sound of the waves, the bustle of the crew in the distance, the rough, sandy feeling of wooden planks beneath him. He cracks open an eye. The hazy warm blue of a faded sunset washes over him, the darkened clouds that littered the sky already fading out.

Not a dream. But it sure seems like one.

God, he feels like shit. His head is throbbing, his limbs are heavy, his chest feels like it's on fire, and he is so, so tired.

He’s alive. 

The storm is over.

He turns his head and sees what is probably Hinata’s still-unconscious body beside him. The two are lying somewhere off to the side of the ship, which he has duly noted is _not_ underwater. He props himself up on his elbows to look around, and Koganegawa’s stupid hair and shirtless torso pops into his blurry vision. 

“Tsukishima! You’re awake!” he practically screams, dropping the rope he was holding. 

“Yes,” Kei groans, rubbing his head. “It seems like I am.” He checks to see if his glasses are still in his pocket. By some other miracle, they have neither been lost or damaged. He slips them back on. His headache is still there, but at least he can see.

While Koganegawa runs off to tell the others, Hyakuzawa, who was already nearby, fills Kei in on what he missed. After the worst of the storm had passed, the other crew members immediately focused their efforts on fixing up the ship. The pump was repaired first, with Ushijima and the other veterans now working it below decks at max efficiency. A few other crew members were even lifted down the sides to make repairs from the outside. 

Kei watches Washijo dazedly as he coordinates the other sailors on deck. Like Koganegawa, several of them have taken off their wet clothes to avoid the chilly air. He’s reminded of the dampness of his own clothes, but he can’t be bothered to change.

Hyakuzawa timidly explains that they’ve done what they could for Hinata. Kei nods. Hinata’s looking a little worse for wear, but he’s breathing, his tanned skin still blushing with life. Better than he could’ve hoped for. 

“The captain’s waiting for you. He keeps asking when you’ll be ready to go back to work. Although,” Hyakuzawa says quietly, making sure no one else is listening in, “we’re doing alright for now. I mean, you were out for a long while, so it might be best to take some time off. The immediate danger’s passed, I think.” 

Kei groans. “Yes, that would be great. My head’s killing me. Go on with whatever you’re doing and tell everyone not to bother me. Especially Koganegawa. I’m going to rest here for a bit.” He lies back down. The deck isn’t the most comfortable place to take a nap, but at that moment, even the bumpy planks are enough to lull him into a hazy state of repose.

Of course, Hinata ruins everything. 

When he wakes up, a bunch of their crewmates come running up to celebrate, showering him with teary hugs and joyful exclamations before Kei shoos them all away. Hinata’s probably feeling even worse than he is. He has to practically peel Goshiki, still crying, off of Hinata. “Go back to work, Hinata needs to rest too after he nearly _died_.” The crowd eventually clears after enough dirty looks from Kei, leaving him and Hinata alone again. 

Hinata looks a little disappointed. “I can get back up, probably! I feel a little tired, but I’d feel bad if I didn’t help out everyone else—” Hinata’s body is suddenly wracked with an aching cough, interrupting his plea.

“No,” Kei says firmly. “What, you just came back to life and you want to go down again that badly? Even I can barely stand on my feet. There’s no way I’m letting you go back out there. In fact—”

Kei inhales. He ignored it when Hinata first came to, but he has no option but to respond to that recklessness, does he? The feeling he’d been trying to stifle since he first saw Hinata slip has finally come bubbling up. 

“ _You should’ve_ been more careful to begin with! You _knew_ the ship was unstable, you should’ve held on _tighter_ , you _know_ how you deal with water. What if I wasn’t there? Then what, you idiot!” He presses his finger against Hinata’s chest. “Or if I hadn’t made that completely spur-of-the-moment, extremely stupid decision to go save you?”

“But you did!” Hinata says. Then he pauses. 

“Do you really think it was stupid?” 

Kei is taken aback by the frankness of the question. 

_Yes, of course!_ he thinks. …But also, _no_. 

He crosses his arms. “It doesn’t matter what I think now. Your idiocy has rubbed off on me.” 

“Good thing it did, then,” Hinata beams. “Oh, and I haven’t said it yet, have I?

 _"Thank you!_ ”

And then Hinata tries to give him a hug. How he has the energy, Kei has no idea, but he can’t quite find the strength to dodge. He lets out a yell as Hinata practically topples on top of him, knocking the wind from him. After a few moments, he manages to push him off. Hinata pouts as Kei sits back up, making a face while he readjusts his glasses.

It’s just the two of them, conversing on deck again. Except this time Kei’s still reeling from the aftereffects of being choked by seawater. 

Well, they’re alive. 

“Hmph. It was unlucky that the wind and rocks hit us right when they did.”

“It was lucky that we made it. It’s lucky that we’re both sitting here right now,” Hinata corrects. He rests his back against the ship's banister. “You know, Tsukki, you call me an idiot, but it’s not exactly like you aren’t one. I mean, thinking about how you’re going to die when you haven’t even considered the ways out yet! And I say _really_ consider. Not just giving up on it when the answer doesn’t come right away. If you can’t find it, keep going anyways, and just come back later.”

Kei raises an eyebrow. What kind of reasoning was that? If Hinata’s foolish optimism were really so easy, everyone would be living without a care in the world. But, he supposes Hinata isn’t everyone. 

Their world was small. A single moment could change everything. And if Hinata, that dumbass, wanted to exist beyond those small chances, then what’s it to him? 

Kei just lays back, eyes on the sky, watching as the moon rises. _Maybe it’s alright._

“You asked what I wanted to do when I got back,” Kei says. “Well, I think I’m going to try to speak to Akiteru again. And after that, I’m quitting this sailing bullshit for good. Can’t help but feel like I signed up for this.” 

“You’re actually quitting?” Hinata asks, gaping at him. “Who’s Akiteru?” 

“My older brother. The one I used to go fishing with.” 

“Ah.”

“But I suppose you’re still planning to go right back to riding anyways, are you? Nothing about falling twenty feet into raging waters change any of that?”

He can already see the dumb smile that crawls across Hinata’s face any time the subject of horses surfaces in a conversation as he goes, “Yup! To be honest, I was actually kinda thinking about it when I was falling. Like, _Wow, does this mean I’m never gonna see mom and dad or Natsu again? Shoot, the farm… I’ll never beat Kageyama if I’m dead…!_ That sorta thing. So um, thanks again for saving me!” Hinata gives him another shiny-eyed look.

Kei rolls his eyes. “Stop it. Just— stop talking about it, I don’t want to think about it anymore. You don’t want to make me regret it. It’s still not too late to throw you back in there.” Hinata laughs and flops back down. “Okay! If you say so.” 

The two of them lie there until the rest of the crew yell at them to get back to work. 

_END_

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first serious fanfiction (or any personal creative writing project, really) that I have ever written and completed. Thank you to all of those who helped me revise, gave me writing tips, and listened to me scream. This 5k one-shot has caused me weeks of agony. But regardless of what I think about it, or how I feel about it, this work is _my_ work, and I am just proud of having finished something I can call my own.
> 
> (I was originally planning on writing an ambiguous ending, but after drafting the current one I was like. Why not. Everyone can live, as a treat.)
> 
>  _Thanks for reading!_ Please leave a kudos or comment if you enjoyed!


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